Nursery Planning

Tim and I have started planning for the nursery. This weekend we will make a second trip out to the (Benjamin Moore) paint store and see what they have for low-VOC paints. I brought home a bunch of paint chips to review, and it is interesting that the longer we have them, the more I'm interested in selecting some of the ones I picked to use for the "white" trim! One is called Lime Ice, which also appeals because of the nickname Baby carried for a while.

Since we do not plan on finding out the baby's gender until baby is born, we are going with a gender neutral nursery. The gender neutral pastel colors we can choose are yellow, lavender, or green. Green has always been my favorite color, so an easy choice, which Tim agreed with.

On the very first weekend that we knew we were pregnant, I was surfing the Internet for "nursery decor" -- I wanted to see what was available now, compared to 28 years ago, the last time I was around a baby for any length of time. I found a wonderful website that had nursery chandeliers! Even Tim stood over my shoulder, mesmerized by all the wonderful, cheerful choices. We had decided it would be best to replace our tasteful office dome with something more fun. This is the chandelier we plan to buy. We found it here: Three Arm Bunny Chandelier.

I then went shopping at Babies 'R Us to look at the bedding options with Mary Anne, my mother-in-law. It was all pretty gender specific. The prettiest with green had pink rosebuds in it, so I figured that was out. There was a green bedding with frogs, but I just didn't feel we should settle for what's easily available.

At the paint store afterwards, we looked at some wallpaper books designed for nurseries and young children. Our two favorites coincidentally combined rabbits (think chandelier!) and gardening! This one is called "Sweet Peas", and although it is my favorite, it is only 6" tall, which is a little small for the high 10' ceiling in the future nursery.
Here is a close up:
The other border is called "In & Out of the Garden":
What I like about it are the lilies of the valley. At right is a neat wall accent called "Secret Garden". As you can see, it is installed along the floor trim, along with the previous border in this nursery example. It looks wonderful with the cloud patterned wall paper, of course, so it would look very different with pale green paint. Those are blue hydrangeas in a rusty iron pot behind the birdbath, where two bluebirds are perched.

So it is hard to decide what to do if we go with the smaller border. Do we install it at chair rail height? If so, do we pick two different paint colors, or manually stencil something above, so it won't look so odd?

Next project: to find some cute, coordinating bedding and of course, furniture!!

Mother's Day - 11 May 2008

I received a Mother's Day card this year from baby!

Here is the front of the card:

and here is the inside of the card:

It is signed "Love Little Lime" (since that is how big he/she was).

I also received several other cards for the mommy-to-be. I always thought that wedding cards had the prettiest selections, but some of these "expecting" cards are as cute as a button (pun intended)!

But you have to laugh at the very first card received after we shared the news with family and close friends! Boy, did we ever do it!!!

Memorial day

My garden has decided to come out in bloom in patriotic colors for Memorial Day this year:
Red are the peonies and (magenta) dianthus, white are the marguerite daisies and (pale yellow) bearded irises, and blue are the siberian irises! Here's to our brave soldiers, wherever they have served and fallen, over all the years since our country's birth. May their souls rest in peace.

In my second trimester

Well here I am at 13w2d, technically in my second trimester, and 14th week of pregnancy. I've been rather busy, which is a shame, since I kept thinking of things I wanted to blog about.

This is what baby looks like at 13 weeks: 13 weeks. My hips are getting wider, and my uterus is apparently the size of a melon! But I still haven't gained much more than a few pounds. You can definitely see a baby bump if you know what you are looking for!

So the biggest news is I had my Nuchal Translucency (NT) scan done during the ultrasound on May 8th (photo at right), and they measured the fold at the baby's neck (between the two white lines). It was only 1.2mm wide, which puts me at a risk factor of 1 in 10,000 chance of having a baby with trisomy or downs syndrome. Wonderful news! I did some blood work on the same day, and do follow up blood work at week 16. From that, they can tell me even more in terms of testing. So we don't plan to do CVS or amniocentesis, as they both lead to a high risk of miscarriage.

The next bit of exciting news comes from a funny story. After that scan, I was feeling much more comfortable about the state of my pregnancy, so we began to tell more friends and neighbors. After a week of sharing, I still hadn't had a chance to tell our next door neighbors. Ilona, the wife, is in her early 30s and from a party years before, I remember being told that she wanted to have children, but they still don't have any. So I was a little anxious about telling them, not wanting to put more pressure on the husband! Finally, one evening I was outside watering my garden next to the sidewalk, when Ilona drove up behind me and stopped her SUV. I was so glad I finally had a chance to tell her in person. She called out to me, asking me how I was doing, so I stepped up to the window and said I was doing fine, with a big smile. "And you?" I asked. "Susan, I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed. I couldn't believe it! I immediately wanted to know how far along she was, thinking maybe just a few weeks, but she is about 3 or 4 weeks ahead of me. "You won't believe this," I said, "but I'm pregnant, too!" I made her get out of her car and we exchanged a celebratory hug.

Her story is interesting: they have been trying for about two years to conceive. But she did not know she was pregnant until she was about three months, due to monthly bleeding (which can happen). But it is just so fabulous having someone pregnant who lives near me! She is already picturing our babies playing together! And we are both using our first floor offices to turn into the nursery, since our homes aren't really built for starting families!

Tim and I are making plans for our nursery, and I'll post those soon. When Tim's parents were here two weeks ago, his mom and I went to a paint store to pick up color cards. They had a wallpaper section and we checked out the nursery books. Oh, there were some of the most adorable options! We also went to Babies 'R Us and immediately became overwhelmed with all the choices. But I don't love any of the bedding selections, so this part of the search will continue.

It's a baby, not a worm!

I am exhausted, but I wanted to send a quick post to the blog about my ultrasound scan from this morning. I am 11 weeks pregnant today! Everything looked great at the scan. The technician even filmed part of the scan for me, so I could share it with Tim who was working. Here is a tiny snippet:



The whole video is three and a half minutes long, and I will try to post that this weekend. It is pretty neat.

When she first scanned my uterus, and all I could see was a sleeping baby in profile, I was so thrilled and happy -- it looked like a realy baby! It was just so incredible to know that was inside me at that very moment. I'll post more later. I need to go get some sleep!

p.s. I hope the video works! If not, here is a direct link:
http://s270.photobucket.com/albums/jj120/wiggyspond/pg/scans/?action=view&current=MVI_0138.flv

My missing enzyme

In February, I attended a local "Women's Medicine Lodge" to learn about Native American practices and join a local community of women. These medicine lodges are held once a month at my yoga instructor's home. At the end of my first lodge, we were invited to light a candle and announce our intentions for the month. I knew my cycle was coming up, and I just felt such a need for the support of the strong women around me that I announced my intention was to become pregnant the following month, with medical intervention. I cried as I spoke, finding it so hard to share such personal information with women who were nearly strangers. But I felt a little bit empowered, too, especially with their warm response to me afterwards.

I was in Colorado, anxiously awaiting the embryologist's report on my embryos when the Women's Lodge met in March.

When I returned in April, I knew the women would be wanting to know if I was pregnant, but reluctant to ask the question since they all seemed to "get it". I had emailed Lynn, the yoga instructor and Lodge leader, a few days beforehand to let her know the good news. So in the lodge, I did announce I was pregnant, but that it was very early, almost too early to be sharing. The women were very happy for me. Ironically, one of the women read a poem during the lodge "for the new baby", which she had written about her granddaughter who had just been born the week before.

Two weeks later, I was asked by a lodge member to explain again about a test I had taken which had helped me to become pregnant. A good friend of hers is suffering from infertility, too, and she wanted me to share my inofmation. (In fact, the lodge member had also tried for five years to have a second child, but finally gave up.)

So this is the email I wrote to her:

Hi Kelly,

It was so nice chatting with you. I'm sorry that your five year journey was so difficult, and glad to hear you are now at peace with the outcome.

In my case, we gave up after 3-1/2 years of IUIs and IVFs and all BFNs (negatives). We looked into fostering/adoption but after we got licensed I got an incentive to try one more time, but this time search out the best clinic in the country and see what they could do to help. I have a book, "Expecting Miracles" by Christo Zouves, M.D., which was given to me by a fellow IVFer who finally got pregnant. I would be happy to give it to you to pass on to your friend.

The clinic I went to had me get a biopsy about CD21 to test for an enzyme in my uterus. I was missing the enzyme which they said is the "sticky" enzyme which allows an embryo to stick to the uterine wall. It is more common in women with endometriosis, which I also have (stage 3, second to most severe). The biopsy test is controversial in reproductive circles. Dr. Starks, for example, my first local RE, does not believe in the test, and will not do it for his patients. He did the biopsy for me as a favor to the Colorado clinic.

The test is called the beta-3 integrin test or "E-tegrity Test" by the only lab that performs the test, Adeza Labs. It is very expensive, about $450, and insurance does not cover it. They mail you a package that includes five testing kits, and after the biopsy is performed, you ship the tissue sample back to the lab in the mailers they provide. The test results go to your doctor, and take several weeks.

If you Google the name of the test, you will read the various controversies over it. Very few women will fail the test, but when it happens, like in my case, it really makes you understand why those perfect embryos never implanted, why you never have seen a positive home pregnancy test.

Some doctors say that if you do get pregnant, but just have recurrent m/c, that the enzyme is not likely to be an issue. So the test is not for patients in that case.

The solution to a failed test, which can be undertaken even without doing the test just as a matter of "covering the basics", is three monthly shots of Depot-Lupron. You do the shot on CD1, wait 28 days, do the second shot, then wait another 28 days and do the third shot. In my situation, instead of a third shot, they had me start birth control pills, which worked to the same purpose. A patient will not menstruate during this time. So it is a little like being in menopause, complete with hot flashes and emotional outbursts. By putting your uterus at rest for three months, you allow the lining a chance to build up the enzyme. I don't know how long the effects last.

In my case, I got pregnant on the first cycle after this treatment. Now I am dreaming about trying naturally to conceive after this. Perhaps that was all my body needed? (Or maybe it is wishful thinking.)

There were two other things that helped me, I believe, with this cycle. I started thrice-weekly yoga three months before, and acupuncture two months before. The acupuncture helped to increase blood flow to my uterus. I was the most relaxed I have ever been. My husband even commented at how calm my face was. I was in a great place. Plus, the clinic provided acupuncture treatment right before and right after transfer of the embryos. (On the same bed, even!) And I had a valium with the transfer. It was great!

This is a terrible lot to have fall on anyone, and I still sometimes cannot believe it finally worked in the end for me. I am very blessed and grateful.

Kindest regards,
Susan

Ten weeks!

Wow, the baby is two inches long - the size of a lime! And only six more days until my next ultrasound, hooray! It should look more like a baby than that little worm we saw at 6 weeks!

Yesterday was May Day. My friend and neighbor, Margaret, gave me a little May basket last year. It is a handmade paper basket filled with a "posie" or small bouquet of wild flowers. The tradition is to hang it from a friend's doorknob, ring the bell, and hide. The history of May Day goes back to the ancient Gaelic holiday of Beltane, to celebrate and encourage the fertility of the lands, animals, and people. But this year, Margaret was in Colorado, so no May baskets.